wedged heart

Deep in my heart a wedge does lie

I’m willing to throw a dart to hit it clean and fair

Instead I breathe, breathe deeply and sigh

The cause of the wedge is mine—let’s try.

 

Was it the afternoon I drove back from Galle?

Hail! Thunder and Lightning quite a scare

Voice on the radio warning us to go with care.

the highway is dangerous to drive, so there.

 

Wait! is the wedge my children? My poor mother, too.

My husband, Dom, my in laws? ‘How do you do?’

A lost love, another life, what could have been?

it’s all bittersweet now that I have seen…

 

The wedge comes and goes. Today it sticks, like a thorn to a rose.

Tears pour down my face, I am thankful for god’s grace.

To analyze the pain, sitting in the car in the rain

One goes back in time, breathes, the mind races.

 

To gratitude: of course, I’m grateful! So what if I’m Fey?

The wedge is lodged, embedded deep. I long for the comfort of sleep

Not yet, not there, the exit is quite far. Stay awake!

Don’t fall asleep. Keep breathing the wedge out, however deep.

 

At last the exit, I take the turn, drive to the booth to stop.

Pay my toll and on my way, keep breathing the hardness away

And suddenly, I am aware, that this feeling of a wedge

has disappeared, is not there?  was it the stress of the drive?

 

Maybe. Could be, should be, yes! Driving is difficult

When one can barely see, the car in front, the road, a tree.

The rain is ceasing, the breathing is easy

At last: Home. the dog runs to greet me.

 

Unpack my bag get on the mat

Do a few yoga poses, here comes the cat!

5 kittens to feed all are shivering.

My body feels better, no more dithering

 

I draw a bath then into bed, take meds, then cover.

Dream of mayhem and accidents oh what a shower!

I suddenly wake up to another day. Stretch and yawn.

The wedge has gone, the sun shines bright. Oh how I love, love, love the light.

 

 

N.S.  APRIL 15, 2018

 

 

 

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Werewolf in Nuwara Eliya

That night in Nuwara Eliya
When Dom and I stumbled
Into the Grand, we had just re-met
And every moment was precious.
It took us ten minutes to find the bar
It was cold for Nuwara eliya and we
Needed a drink, desperately.
A single malt for Dom and a Port
For me. This was in 1993,

I turned towards the barman to place our order
And stopped, shocked. Next to us was the most
Extraordinary man I had ever seen, he was approx.
7ft tall. His ears were pointy, nearly as large as his head
A beard that tapered to a degree
His sideburns, thick, wide, designed
Angled to his mouth
A sweet smile. It was disconcerting.
Basically, your friendly neighborhood werewolf.
He bought us a round of drinks and
Seemed very glad to meet us.
We drank with him up to a point.

Said our goodbyes
And staggered outside into a sea
Of mist. It must have been midnight
the moon was full.
Shining bright with light
To show us the way
To the car-
we drunkenly
Drove the windy
Road back to the club.

Quietly distressed by the
Meeting of the man
Who looked like a wolf.

 

N.S.

June 2017

 

Machine I loved

A low slung Volks

turbo charged, fast

(naturally)

did 130 miles on

the Arugumbay

Moneragala road

‘A poor man’s porsche’

my friend said.

Leonard Cohen crooning

as we looked

at the mountains

whizzing by

light poured in

the driver seat

comfortable enough to

race in.

I down shifted to third

then, back to fourth, fifth

as we turned the corner

on two wheels

the car did a one eighty

and smashed against

the hillside

we poured out

stunned, bruised, bleeding

we were ok

the car ok, too

German engineering

I thought

I loved this car

I was biased

Thank god we weren’t

driving the Prius.

NS FEB 13, 2017

microcosom

Buttala, South Sri Lanka
Me, american pancakes, blue jeans.
Appuhami, rotis. sarongs.
British, Sri-Lankan children
wait

To eat breakfast.
Daub and Wattle, Illuk Roof
wood fire
I whisk the batter

I-pod on Leonard Cohen
Croons; “Love gone wrong’
Appropriate.
For the moment.

I am lost
earphones in music
carries me away
to another place
congruence and context
(at home anywhere)

It’s all in the making of it.

The Netherlands

Just back from a week’s trip to the Netherlands. Things I loved most were:

  • the unbelievable light (now I have seen first hand what Rembrant and Van Meer captured so beautifully on canvas)
  • biking everywhere and anywhere
  • herring, cheese and chocolate
  • the lovely dutch who entertained us so beautifully
  • the lovely sri lankans with the most gorgeous flat and the amazing kiribath brunch-perfect after a night of debauchery.
  • our most kind and generous host.
  • What I do not like:

  • The fact that I forgot my camera. very very frustrating, not to be able to take pictures.
  • that i have five pounds to loose around my midsection