Komari Beach with Tash and friends

The ocean: vast, blue inaccessible
Cliffs stand tall form a barricade to the beach
My brain won’t let me walk
Boys use arms to fashion a seat
Helicopter blades circle,
the clouds help lift
My form—in its infancy of weight—
I am whizzed by, the lads and I
Hot sand beneath our feet

They lay me on the pristine beach
Friends prance, waves dance in the sea.
Overhead; high clouds, shape into shells
Heat, sun, air & salt water combine to bliss.
Crystal clear clarity mimics a winter night:
The moon, full, the trees barren.
A branch cracks and falls.
Except it’s the tropics. The height of summer.
High noon. Remind me of my first kiss.
Surrender to this.

A better woman.

For the umpteenth time this year, She could not get out of bed. Her legs wouldn’t move, her hands felt as if they were floating somewhere near her body. Not attached as they should be. It’s what she calls a global phenomenon, meaning, the symptoms are global, the symptoms affect her entire body.

She tries to sit in lotus position to meditate, but is not successful. She’s not weak — has worked out all her life—ran, swam, did yoga, pressed weights, rode horses. Her brain was not sending the messages to her body for it to function. So, she lay there- – in a flop– and started her deep yogic breath work. She counted her breaths and willed herself to relax. Her body started responding, soon she was one with her breath, inhaled and exhaled timed so the breathing was working in a perfect circular motion. Her husband lay beside her, snoring, Soon, his snores and her breath were in unison. Wonderful, she thought. Our communication skills are on point.

She looked outside the window, dawn was rising, slowly and gently, as it usually did. There were two mynah birds on the temple tree cocking their heads as if to consider their day. The cat crept in through the open window looking a wreck. He jumped on her stomach and she reacted– it took all her will power to throw it off–he did a somersault and landed on his four paws—turned around gave a look of utter contempt and took off.

What had bought this peculiarity on? A movement disorder said the neurologist. It’s Interesting they mused. “Your interesting.” when she hears ‘interesting’ used by doctors’ she smirks. All it means is that they don’t really know what to do. Are they doing the right thing? Are they treating the symptoms the way they should? Are they overmedicating? Do they have a name for this aberration? She experiments with alternative treatments. Acupuncture, pranic healing, massage, ayurvedic retreats, meditation. As long as it does not harm her, she will try it.

Today she had lots of things to do, looking out the window and at life outside was not going to help, She needed to get a move on cross things off her list. Her mother’s estate needed attending, she had to raise some funds for a charity she supported and had an appointment with her physiotherapist, her favourite part of the day. The physio and she would work on interval training. They’d run, walk, run, and keep at it for as long as possible. Her body always felt like a stiff drink the next day, but she ignored that symptom.

She felt something licking her ankles, bent down to see the ginger cat. she picked it up and gave it a squeeze. He purred, in that smug way. Hm. she thought, he’d make a better woman of me.